H/T to The Nose on Your Face

9. The Earth will spin out of orbit, exacerbating global warming and turning the planet into a giant George Foreman Grill, slow-roasting its populace until dead, albeit delicious and heart-friendly.

8. People will start sincerely responding to Dennis Kucinich’s proposals with, “You know what, that’s a great idea!”

7. [...]

There are only a few more weeks until the election that will decide the
next President of the United States.

The person elected will be the president of ‘all’ Americans, not just the
Democrats or the Republicans. So, it is time we all came together,
Democrats and Republicans alike, in a bipartisan effort for America:

If you support the policies [...]

I about fainted when I saw that Karen Sautter had joined a Facebook group called Why I’m Voting Democrat. I was stunned beyond belief. After all the work she’s done for YR’s, especially on ThisIsMyParty.org, how could she turn so quickly on her party?
So, I did what any good investigative reporter wouldn’t do, and checked [...]

Okay, time for one of those “off the well beaten trail” posts. A chance to sidestep the close order combat of politics for a moment, and just get a good laugh over something beyond ridiculous. Today’s topic; Ice Cream, and a new flavor that PETA is interested in seeing. I always knew these people were [...]

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male tosee any woman other than his wife naked. He must commitsuicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time,all American women are asked to walk out of their housecompletely naked to help weed out any neighborhoodterrorists. Circling your block [...]

A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at theappropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter apassword.
Something he would use to log-on. Herhusband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for theshock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. [...]

vi email
Be sure to read to the end.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him And never say its not quite as good as his mothers ! …then buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, For as long and wherever you [...]

via email

Obama Is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want.

He Leadeth Me Beside Still Factories,

He Restoreth My Faith In The Republican Party,

He Guideth Me In The Paths Of Unemployment.

Yea, Though I Walk Through The Valley Of The Bread Line, I

Shall Not Go Hungry.

Obama Has Anointed My Income With Taxes,

My Expenses Runneth Over My Income,

Surely, Poverty And [...]

This is pretty funny, via email

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most [...]

This is a great find. Archeologist have found the first Democrat.

An archeological team, digging in Washington DC , has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Democrat.

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Also saves on the processing of corn for ethanol.
SAVE GAS WITH TOYOTA ‘S NEW ‘HIGH-BRED’ TRUCK

Well today is your lucky day. i have posted this before, but I think this is an updated version.
H/T to Granite Grok

Military Sensitivity Training
Marine Corps Rules:

Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
Have a plan.
Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
Be polite. [...]

I know, I know. What in the hell do ghosts have to do with politics? The answer. Absolutely nothing. Which is why I tapped this out. We’ve all been dug in so deep lately reagrding the 2008 elections and more, that every once in a while, we need a slight reprieve. And that goes for [...]

Strong Language Warning:
Warning Socialist Squirrel
Warning Simply Stupid Socialist Squirrel Drinking and pontification upon socialism and removing all doubt upon his stupidity….It is not just the beer.
Enjoy!

~Teddy Bear
Still laughing and rolling on the floor! 
Stupid is Forever!

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This is a Fun Friday Follow up! 
I simply can not make this up!  I am literally rolling on the floor here in my Grizzly Den, laughing my capitalist ass off, trying not to set the Den on fire with my Cigar!
Oh, I wish Socinus was truly the leader of the Socialist Party, There simply would [...]

So, lets kick off FUN FRIDAY with a Simpleton Socialist Squirrel Savaging Sir-Hillary, “Simply Stupid!” Alliteration is simply stunning! 
You know I simply can not make this funny stuff up.  If I recruited some hippie card carrying socialist with not a brain cell left from embracing shared misery.  You simply would not believe it.  You would say, [...]

Can you tell what this is a picture of? Look very carefully in the box. What do you see?

Give up?

Some days….
~Teddy Bear

A Socialist Squirrel peanut pimp!
~Teddy Bear

We all need a moment of humor to reflect upon every once in a while. Some of you have already seen this. I myself, just got it today from a co-worker. It’s a humorous view of the prices we pay per gallon for various liquids. So the next time your at the fuel pump griping [...]

From the U.S. White House website:
Local artists created the decorated eggs, which represent each state and the District of Columbia. The 2008 Easter Egg Collection continues the tradition that began in 1994 where each state sends a decorated egg to the White House for display. The collection is coordinated by the American Egg Board. White [...]

Cross posted at Stix Blog
Two Different Versions!  Two Different
                         Morals!
                         OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering
                         heat all summer [...]

Cross posted at Stix Blog and Socialist Squirrel

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Cross posted at Stix Blog
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them!? Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days–mowing my lawn.New Rule: Don’t eat anything [...]

What’s The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? 
 
     
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack

via email
Cross posted at Stix Blog and Socialist Squirrel

My fellow Identity-Americans:
 
As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for their … well, support.
 
Your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor’s relations
with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting [...]

Thanks to Faultline for these.  Don’t have any liquid in your mouth while looking at these.

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Scott Stantis

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Larry Wright

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Mike Lester

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Wizard of ID

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After calling on England to accept Shari’a Law for Muslims, the Arhcbishop of The Church of England loses his mind in a television interview.
  ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY LOSES MIND
THE Church of England was under temporary management last night
after the Archbishop of Canterbury lost his mind during an interview
with the BBC.
The Right Reverend Rowan Williams surprised
colleagues [...]

Talking USMC Dog!
A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog for Sale’
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice [...]

Over the Hedge

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