// Grizzly Groundswell

I just hit the big FIVE-O in May this year, so there is a fair amount of remorse in realizing that I was putting my energy in the wrong direction since the days when we use to practice hiding under our desk during the Cuban missile crisis. This coming out has been made possible mostly by events mostly in the last 6 years, 911 being the most influential one of all.I’m a product of the sixties. This was a time when it was fashionable to rebel against the corporate and political establishment. Although I had no clue how either one of these worked, I hated them anyway,because that’s what all the cool people were doing. We were anti goverment , and anybody that had a job was a capitalist pig. We hated America like we hated our parents and anyone over 30 couldn’t be trusted. Unless we were broke and needed to move back in with mom and dad.

We wanted the establishment as it was to torn be down without having a plan for any kind of replacement. The answer was blowing in the wind , and so were our minds.

What made it even worse was my parents. My mother was over 30 and my father was in his 40’s and these two were doing their best at trying be hippies. I actually think my parents were the very first preppies. Now that I look back it was kind of pathetic because they wanted so badly to look cool, but had to perform this balancing act of looking cool and corporate at the same time.  My father started with the hair that came only an inch over his ears and the long sideburns and some polyester bell bottoms with the razor sharp crease.  They both also started smoking pot and listening to Hendrix and Black sabbath {but only on the weekends}. They did their best at trying to be hip, but if you can imagine Celine Dion trying to jam with Marilyn Manson, this will give you an idea what it looked like. 

 My father was the G.M. at a tourist attraction in Hawaii. The politics in this business led him to have some clout with local state representatives. Believe it or not , at 14 or 15  we actually had Nieil Abercrombie over for dinner a couple of times. My father was trying to get the cost of a liquor license for the business lowerd. Abercrombie was the rep for our district and I beleive that was the reason for the invite.

Most of the country didnt get a look at Abercrombie untill he was elected to Congress. He had hair down to his ass,always wore slippers and jeans and drove one of those old yellow N.Y. checker cabs everywhere he went.

I’m sure Neil wont mind me saying that on one ocassion I sat next to him and my dad while they got stoned and listened to Miles Davis. Pot was no big deal in those days . And up untill today I have no ill will towards Neil. I’m just setting the scenario of my upbringing.

 Needless to say there was little concern in the house about me looking like Cousin It with leather sandals. I spent a lot of time in the ocean , and as a result my eyes were always red. You never knew if I was stoned or just got done surfing. The cure for this confusion was my dads idea. He sat me down in the living room and made me smoke a joint in front of him so he would know what I looked like when I was stoned. By this time in my life I probably had one of the largest peace sign collections east of San Francisco. I was failing high school, I saw no need for education.  I was going to be a rock star and get me a flower child wife,build a log cabin in the woods and grow all my own food.

I was well on my way to becoming one of the great icons of our time

The gimme everything ,even though I hate you,dont want to work idiots that are stumbling around today

My parents, as dumb as they might appear, actually had the insight to see that if they didnt do something about my education,   I was in a lot of trouble. By pulling some strings and me passing a trial semester at the University of Hawaii, I ended up graduating with an Assoc. Science in Restaraunt mangement at 18.

 I had moved to L.A. and became the father of a beautiful baby girl. They say having children changes everything. Now I actually had to keep a job for more than a month.  All the years before my daughters birth I had spent them farting around the country being the artsy fartsy eclectic chef that had all the answers to the worlds problems. These answers came through the virtue of a good Black forest cherry pie , the Kamasutra and a couple bong hits.

 Part of my travels included New York city . Where I worked as  the head waiter at Fraunces Tavern. Fraunces Tavern was almost right across the street from the NYSE on Broad & Pearl,  and a few blocks from the WTC. Every couple of weeks I would pay the six bucks to go up to the observation deck and just “freak out” !  You see , I was raised in Hawaii, so you have to imagine just how impressive these two buildings were to me. I use to get off the train early on the way to work every morning just so I could grab a dog and a newspaper and walk past and look up at these two beautiful monsters.

 But after all my travels and experience  I found myself  at 30 years old in L.A. dishing out yogurt with organic fruits and nuts on it. Which was fine with me because it went well with the Kamasutra and the bong hits. Around this time my daughter was born and it wasnt fine with my daughters mother who suggested I become an Iron worker. Which I did. This was incredibly hard work and I was surrounded all day by a bunch of  gorillas that all had American flags on there hard hats and a shotgun in there car. But it was actually these gorillas that gave me my first real taste of what it was like to be an American. They worked hard, didnt take no shit, and were always there to help, and they took an incredible amount of pride in their work and country.

 A prerequsite to being an Iron worker is that you spend two years studiying not only the applications and tecniques of the trade, but the history as well. As a result of the history lessons I got to see just how much work went into building not just one building, but the whole country.But especially the craft involved in the Trade Towers. I had found a respect for my country that I’d never had before. And was that much closer to being a real American.

Right before the Gulf war I spent a year in rehab. My years of partying had taken its toll. I couldnt brush my teeth without downing a six pack first.  My addiction to drugs and alcohol had literally killed me , dead ! I had ruptured my esophagus and was puking up a quart of blood every 20 minutes. Thank God I was in the hospital when it happend. I flatlined that day and about a minute later they brought me back.

 Since that day my outlook on life changed. And I actually started caring about what was going on around me and vowed to make a difference. Life took on a new meaning and I actually was worried for my daughters future. Being dead will wake you up,  and usually change your mind about something . This was a big step forward for me because I used to have more compassion for Geckos , Dung beetles and my pet rock and beer than I did for humans. 

 Leading up to the Gulf war I had seen pictures of Kurdish mothers dead in the street with their dead babys in their arms.  This lead me to become a lot more interested in other countrys affairs and what was going on in the world and look at things in a more defensive manner.  It truly was a point in my life that made all the difference in the world. Which makes me wonder about the liberals that are out there today. Are most of the liberals the ones that are doing all the partying today ? Looking at Hollywood you would think so. I’m willing to bet good money they’ve got more rehabs in California than any other state.

My Grandmother and Mother were arrested in Denmark by the Nazis in ww11.  Grandma got locked up, tatooed and thrown in a German concentration camp for hiding American soldiers in her closet, and they molested my Mother who was 10 or 11 at the time. You would think that after hearing this I would of made it my personal mission in life to go after anyone that showed any potential to do these kind of things.  But not untill after seeing the pictures of the Kurds dead in the streets did it finally sink in that some people deserve to be shot on sight.

At this time my perception was that Saddam was only a threat to the region and not America. And since we succesfully kicked him out of Kuwait everything was cool. I hadnt really made a choice of political partys yet. Only because I was not educated enough in the workings of our goverment or how the two partys operated and what they stood for.  So I covered up my ignorance by calling myself an independent.

When Bill Clinton went on MTV and told the world what kind of underwear he had on and played the saxophone, I thought it was about time to actually take an in depth look at the candidates and start making some educated decisions. I decided that I would vote for Bill Clinton.

Yea I know what you’re probably saying. But since I’m a convicted felon { pot rap} I couldnt place the vote anyway. But I was a cheerleader. Looking back,  my vote was based on  things that had little to with the qualitys a president should really have. I mean come on ! , anyone that use’s Fleetwood Mac for their campaign song can’t be that bad, right ?

Most Terroristic Muslim attacks in history never got my attention much. Only because I figured there couldnt be more than 6 or 7 thousand Muslims in the world. Even after the Cole attack and the first Trade Towers attack  I couldnt be botherd because I was more worried about the blow job in the Oval Office that was a “vast right wing conspiracy.” { I still laugh my ass off everytime I hear Hillary say that} At this point I thought I was as politically educated and involved  as any citizen could be. I choose to call myself a Democrat and the Republicans were the Anti Christ.

Then came that statement ” I did not have sexual relations with that woman ! ”

And it turned out he did.  And even though this guy had pecker tracks all over the country, and I knew he was lying, that didnt bother me.  I was quite content that as long as he was running the country, thats all that matterd. My ignorance kept me from realizing that he was running us right into one of the worst if  not” thee  worst ” catastrophy in our countrys history. I also had no clue as to how the implications of Saddams actions would affect us later. And also had no clue how important it was to kill Bin Laden. I was still not educated enough to form an attitude that could  fathom the reasons,  or the implications of what was going on. But I was a Democrat, and it would all be O.K.

Sobbriety was the real beggining of my life.  It resulted in my marriage to a beautiful  Hawaiian, Portugese and Scottish woman that gave us an incredibly smart 12 year old son. I opened my own business and we own a half million dollar townhouse in Hawaii.

The day Al Gore lost to Bush I went and got drunk. A couple months later my father had died in my arms, and my Aunt and Grandmother and my best friend also died shortly thereafter. I quickly went into a depression ,  and  I stayed drunk untill the morning of September 11 2001.

I got up that morning still buzzed from the night before. It was about 6am and I had just turned on the T.V, and not a few minutes later the news flash came that a jet had just flown into one of the towers. Like most of America I thought it was an accident and after they get that plane out of the side of that building they’ll fix it and it’ll be alright. Then came the second one, and I felt like I was going to shit my heart right out of my ass.

When the first tower came down I cried like a little girl. By the time the second one came down I was delirious. I was picturing all the people I use to see every morning on my way to work being crushed. The guy at the news stand, the hot dog vendor and the tour guides that would take us to the observation tower evey couple of weeks. I was 6000 miles away and couldnt do a thing about it. And if that wasn’t enough I found out a couple days later  a guy that worked with me, had lost his wife on flight 93.

At this point I knew that if I went on drinking it would be one of those drinks that would put me away for good this time. Right then and there my political feelings and party affiliation all went right out the window. I went from a delusional tree hugger to Rambo in about 2 seconds.

Since 911 I gave my support to President Bush. Even if I still had some lingering liberalism lurking inside me somewhere , my common sense dictated that to give him every ounce of support was the only thing any American should right now.

As I educated myself on the radical Muslim movement I realized that I did not want my son and wife to have to live the life that my Grandmother and mother lived in Denmark. And my wish to see all these assholes killed has never faulterd to this day.

In the last few years I .ve watched a goverment that was pretty much all on the same bandwagon since 911  gradually slip back to there old ways. And I have no problem casting out the Dems as the ones that are most guilty of this.   They started this crap right at the beggining of the last election by using the Iraq war as a platform to try and make Republicns look bad. And Carter was certainly no help at all. God I get soooo tired of hearing the same crap day in and day out.  Bush lied , their doing it for oil, Halliburton and Cheny and big contracts for Bushs buddys. And Saddam had nothing to do with 911. WE KNOW !

Most of these flakey snakes voted for the war and now that its election time they start throwing accusations of which none have been proved. But they just keep saying the same thing over and over.

My distaste for Democrats was growing everytime I turned on the T.V. But that little speck of liberal was still poking around inside my head  “cant we all just get along ?” “lets reach out, try to connect, and work together”

So I went and bought me my first computer ever so that I could do the responsable thing and communicate more effectivly with the Democrats, in order to find bi partisan solutions. I realize now that is an oxy moron. So like any responsable citizen I hooked it up , went on line, and promptly looked up the biggest pair of tits I could find.

Needless to say I,m really new at this computer thing. And the first few weeks of wrestling with this thing was starting to look like it was more hassle than it was worth.

Well its turned out to very worth it.

In the last six months I,ve been going to liberal websites and engaging in debates. Not being able to vote , I felt that by doing this I might be able to change at least one mind , and would be as good as one Republican vote at the polls.

This lofty goal has proven more irritating than it’s worth. The stupid shit that I hear in these debates really chips away at whatever composure I have left.

I,ve come to the point where I,m really scared of these freaks and the way they think. Most of them are young. And if I’ve noticed one thing, its that most Conservatives are people that have been there and done that. So its only safe to say that our decisions are based on knowledge derived from experience. As opposed to ideas  based on wishful thinking.

As I look back on my transformation from being a drugged out drunk looser liberal to a succesfully married man with children home owning conservative I cant help but realize that if the other side doesnt grow up they will always be lost like I was for so much of my life.

I still want peace like anyone else. But not at the bottom of a grave. I have realized that our enemies are a bunch of sexually frustrated insecure over compensating freaks that are taking it out on the world. They denounce anything western as they drive away in a Toyota and flip open their laptop while wearing Levis and talking to Abdul on their Motorola and listening to David Hasselhoff sing his last hit.

Their vision is one that defies  any reason as to what the purpose of man should be. Why would any God seek to have the annialation of all inhabitants except those that worship Allah. If Allah is powerful why did he put everyone else on this earth ? so that there could the genocidal holocaust of millions that arent Muslim ?  That makes absolutly no sense what so ever. This radical ideology must be killed and handled so it never ever comes back. We let it happen once with Hitler , but we didnt know better then to be able to see the signs. Why for the life of me I cant understand the idiots that let it get this far.

 And whats up with that 73 virgins’ waiting for you thing ? Dont they realize that for every martyr that dies, 73 virgins have to die ! In order to meet them in heaven. Unless Allah just popcorn farts these virgins out of his ass, I dont see how math and pro creation makes this possible.

Carter and Clinton ! You should be embaressed and never show your faces again ! Stupidity stopped Carter, you would think by now it would be his mouth. And right around Clintons time political correctness was starting to stop us from doing things that only only an idiot could figure out needed to be done. Start calling things what they are. and stop worrying about pig farts contributing to global warming.

I want racial profiling ! Its not racist ! Its called logical choices ! If little green men are flying your planes into buildings, dont let them on the damn plane !

I want a big ass wall all along “both borders !”

This country is my house . If you want in , you have to knock. If I have room you can come in and have three hots and a cot till you get on your feet. And stay away from the fridge. If you walk in without knocking, I’ll kill you !

And if you need to look up my ass with a Hubble telescope to protect my country I will bend over. A country that looses a little privacy far outweighs Sharia law.

Oh ! Harry Reid ! You idiot.  There is no such thing as an undocumented American, Alright !

I’m finally there. It only took fifty years but it feels good and worth it to know exactly where I stand for once in my life.

I,m on the right. Not almost, or Independant and leaning slightly right or switching my party  later at the some other election.

                                                                  Micky