The Political Vending Machine

“I’m going to go to the lunch room and pick a president…”

Voter 1: “Let’s see, what do I want today?”

Voter 2: “I keep saying that I’m going to try something different then I end up picking the same thing.”

Voter 1: “I know what you mean. Hey, look, they repackaged the Clinton again! That’s like the third time this month they’ve done that.”

Voter 2: “Yeah, but it’s still the same hard-shelled crap when you unwrap it. I’m sort of tempted to try the McCain today.”

Voter 1: “I don’t know, that’s been in there a long time. Whatever you do, stay away from the Romney.”

Voter 2: “Why? That package looks pretty slick…”

Voter 1: “I had one in Michigan once and I swear that my stomach felt like it was doing flip-flops for the rest of the day!”

Voter 2: “That settles it then. I saw a great commercial for the Obama last night that said it could change my life.”

Voter 1: “I saw that one too! And that package is awesome. You go first.”

Voter 2: “OK, here goes…”

Voter 1: “So…what’s inside?”

Voter 2: “That’s weird.”

Voter 1: “What, what’s in there?!?!?”

Voter 2: “Absolutely nothing.”

Yeah, kids, that’s kind of the way we go about it these days. We have more information than ever and tend to use less of it to make political decisions.

Unfortunately, this works out to be in favor of the Democrats and not so good for the Republicans, especially this year.

The Democratic message appeals to emotion rather than intellect, so it’s very easy to pitch.

“We want all of you to have free tuition, health care and a puppy. A vote for us is a vote for smiles!”

The modern Democrats are tailor made for the television ad era. We don’t dig deep into the messages we see on TV. That’s why beer commercials are still full of hot women. Ad execs know that a man watching isn’t going to say, “I’d never have a shot with her.” He’s simply going to make an emotional association between the boobs and the beer.

“Ka-ching!” Another twelve pack sold.

“If elected, I promise to fight for you and make sure there are federal funds to pay for everything!”

“Ka-ching!” Another Democrat in office.

The Republican problem, more so in recent years, has been that its candidates have to address the big people’s issues. The approaches handling those issues often require explanation, which doesn’t go well with the modern A.D.D. approach to life.

This is precisely why, as Rick Moran details today, Fred Thompson has had such a difficult time gaining any traction. Thompson says what needs to be said then explains himself. This approach is anathema to the fast moving information age.

The present approach also hurts John McCain. McCain has a lifetime rating of 82.3 from the American Conservative Union and that’s covering a lot of votes over a long period of time. Yet all conservatives talk about are his few egregious legislative faux pax. To hear it told on talk radio, McCain has been voting like a Democrat his whole career. This is abjectly false. He couldn’t have gotten a rating that is less than four points lower than Thompson’s (86.1) over such a long haul unless he was conservative. But what sticks in the press right now is the immigration bill and McCain-Feingold (a bill that Thompson supported, by the way).

Which Republican candidates benefit most from our short attention spans? Aw Shucks Huck and Morphing Mitt are your guys if you just need to hear what you want, rather than what you should, for thirty seconds.

The Republican challenge for the 21st century doesn’t solely involve finding a way to get back to modern conservative principles. We’re now faced with the task of learning how to convey important ideals in small bursts of information. The latter may be the most daunting task of all.

This, and more, at America Needs Me. Also cross posted at Real Clear Politics (VOTE for it!)

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